


joy (something we can’t have)

by lilacpeonies (tangledintime)



Series: our joy [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Suh Youngho | Johnny, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Forbidden Love, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mention of Donghyuck, Omega Lee Taeyong, Sad Ending, illegitimancy, kind of based in the 1920’s, lapslock, original child character - Freeform, seriously people don’t like don’t read, sowwy, think downtown abbey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22139002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangledintime/pseuds/lilacpeonies
Summary: “be careful taeyong, please. she may be safe now, but we can only say she’s our child for so long. and your mother... there’s not much i can do then.”taeyong closes his eyes, breathes in his baby’s scent. “i’ll cross that bridge when i come to it.”in which lee taeyong, omega heir to the lee estate, has a dangerous secret.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: our joy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593532
Comments: 7
Kudos: 118





	joy (something we can’t have)

**Author's Note:**

> implied Mpreg don’t like don’t read this is your final warning. comments will be deleted.
> 
> little bit of world building:
> 
> taeyong: omega heir living in the Lee manor in the village of rensan (I’d THATS an actual village in Korea I’m so sorry pls tell me). In love w/ johnny. has a very dangerous secret. 
> 
> johnny: alpha butler to taeyong’s father. in love w/ taeyong. would suffer terribly if their relationship was found out. 
> 
> jaehyun: taeyong’s chauffeur. tired. will keep taeyong’s secret to the grave.
> 
> ten and kun: trying their best. childless couple. keepers of taeyong’s secret. want to help and are doing a v good job!!!
> 
> Pls go easy on me this is the first thing I’ve written in years. not edited cuz it’s 2 am.

taeyong exits the car, coat pulled high and a hat obscuring his face. he peeks around one corner, then another. no one, he breathes a sigh of relief. if anyone was around, it would be very hard to explain what he was doing in the village. this was his fifth visit in a month. staring at the cottage for a moment, he turns back to the car, the window rolling down.

“five minutes.” he tells the driver, who sighs. “please, jaehyun.”

jaehyun, his driver and one of the only people knowing of his plight, gives him a look. “i’ll drive around the town, my lord, that might buy you a little more time.”taeyong smiles in gratitude. “thank you.”

“but we have to be back before your parents. i can’t work a way around that.”

the omega nods, “i know. i won’t be late. i promise.” and with that, he steps back, watching the car drive away. he lets out a breathe, turning back to the little cottage in front of him. it’s such an unassuming cottage, but little does anyone know that it carries the secrets and shame taeyong burdens every single day since two months ago. 

he walks swiftly to the door, knocking quickly and keeping his head down. every moment waiting just made taeyong ansty, tapping his polished shoe against the stone step. every second not in the cottages meant another second that someone could see him. the door opens and he stepps through quickly. nerves slightly eased in the safety of the house. 

the one who let the door open smiled at him. “hello, my lord.”

the title coming from this mans lips nearly made him cry. “after everything you’ve done for me, you can call me hyung.”

“but—““i’m serious, ten,” taeyong cut in, eyes glistening. the younger man nodding, a little shocked at the urgency in the young lords eyes. “how is she?”

a warm smile graced tens features. “she’s just after a feed. kun’s burping her.” after hanging his coat they walk toward the living area. “oh hyung, she’s so beautiful.”

the young lord can’t fight the grin that comes across his lips at that. his heart is still sitting heavy in his chest, but it’s a bit lighter hearing those words from the young shopkeeper. 

they enter the living area, the fire crackling and the sound of soft patting around the room. taeyong’s eyes narrow in on kun, who’s walking around aimlessly, patting the back of a small bundle secured on his chest. tears spring to his eyes at the sight. there she is. 

his little sooyoung.

ten leans against the doorframe, watching as taeyong makes a beeline straight for his daughter as kun says softly. “look, sooyoungie, papa’s here.” the pup, blinking blearily, makes a gurgling sound. taeyong is entranced. 

“can i?” he asks, reaching out, albeit stilted. the omega in him withers at this. he’s so awkward around his own child. what kind of parent was he? 

kun nods, passing sooyoung to her father carefully. taeyong instantly feels whole the second she’s in his arms. unfortunately, he’s only held her approximately four times in the two months she’s been alive. when she was born, and three times in the sporadic visits since. holding her feels right, and the two next to him can see it in the way a sense of calm pulses from taeyong’s scent. 

“hello, my darling girl.” he whispers. she wiggles a bit and the sunniest of laughs leaves his mouth. “am i interrupting your busy day, hm?” 

to him, there’s no one else in the room but him and his daughter. his omega is singing, happy to be with their pup. despite being awkward at the start, he eases into it now. he rocks her, a finger caressing her soft, plump cheeks. he hums a melody his old nanny used to sing. kun and ten watch from afar. never did they think they’d been in this situation, but they were nothing if not grateful for their lord’s trust in them. 

“how long are you able to stay?” kun asks, going into the kitchen to prepare tea. 

taeyong’s smile falters. he watches sooyoung yawn, eyes drooping. “not long. ten minutes at the most.” 

“is there any way you could sneak out for longer? you know we’ll let you in at night.” the younger omega says frantically. “he visits at night.”

taeyong’s sighs through his nose. he doesn’t want to answer, but hearing the mention of him sparks interest. “does he visit often?”

the kettle whistles to life. “like you, only when he can.”

taeyong nods. he supposes it’s difficult for him too, considering he’s the footman to his father. the lady of the manor might be hard to escape from but that’s nothing compared to the lord. 

ten motions for taeyong to sit, which he does gingerly. sooyoung just fell asleep and he wants to keep it that way. “he adores her, my lor- hyung, he speaks to her all the time. english, korean, the works. calls her, my joy.”

as if responding, the pups face shifts a bit, making it look like she’s smiling. taeyong is so enamoured. 

taeyong sits in silence for a moment, just taking everything in. the heaviness in his heart returns. “i wish i didn’t have to burden you with this.”

the couple look at him incredulously. “burdened?” kun exclaims. 

“yes, if johnny and i had been careful, then this wouldn’t have happened.” guilt washes over him before he adds on. “not that I regret sooyoung, but I just...regret the circumstances.”

if he had his way. sooyoung wouldn’t be here, under the pretence of being someone else’s pup. the omega in him snarls in anger at someone being able to claim his pup as their own. no, she’d be at home, with him, or a nanny, able to see her parents and for them to love her loudly. not to have her existence be a shame to his family if it ever got out. 

those months in japan were the worst he’d ever lived. needy, lonely, and without his alpha. labour long and arduous and his pup taken from his arms. it’s a miracle kun and ten allowed them both to visit her when they tracked her down. he can imagine johnny didn’t fair any better, if the harrowed look they shared when taeyong returned was anything to go by. 

but alas, he does not have his way. he’s not mated to the alpha he loves, he had their baby in secret and can’t even tell anyone anything. 

“i just wish we could be a family.” a tear drips down his cheek. 

kun sets the tea down, sighing deeply. he shares the sentiment, but he knows it’s not rationale. it’s not the way taeyong’s world works. “please don’t do anything stupid, hyung.”

taeyong glares a bit. “what do you mean?”

the young alpha shakes his head, not sure how to get this across without insulting a man who could very quickly have him disappear. ““be careful taeyong, please. she may be safe now, but we can only say she’s our child for so long. and your mother...” he trails off. taeyong doesn’t need him to finish to know what he’s implying. “there’s not much we can do then.”

taeyong closes his eyes, breathes in his baby’s scent. “i’ll cross that bridge when i come to it.”

truly, he hadn’t an idea of what to do if things got out. he couldn’t bear to harm his sooyoung, but like kun, there was only so much he could do if his mother got her clutches on her. 

no, his omega growled within, that witch would not hurt his pup. 

a knock on the door startles them all. taeyong’s heart beat quickens in panic, scent spiking. kun and ten are more composed, ten telling him. “get back into the kitchen, no one will see you. we’ll shoo them off.”

the ebony haired omega nods, rushing into the kitchen. the baby stirs, obviously upset at the change in taeyong’s scent. he bounces her a little. he hears the door open but no voices. his anxiety rises, and makes sooyoung sour further. 

“hush, my darling, it’s alright.” he whispers when she starts to whine. she thrashes a bit and he panics further. she’d never cried when he visited, and now when the possibility of being found out was dire, this was not a good time to learn how to quieten an upset pup. 

he shushes her more, trying to send outa calming aroma for her to bathe in. she’s not having it, face scrunching up in what looks to be a full scream. why were they taking so long, who was out there?

his questions are answered moments later, as when he’s back is turned to shield her from the impending doom, trying to rock her back to sleep. he hears a soothing voice say. “have her rest near your scent gland, she likes that.”

his eyes widen as he turns slowly. decked out in his servants uniform stands johnny. more tears well up in his eyes at his big smile for both of them. he does as he’s told, resting sooyoung near his scent gland. she calms almost instantly. 

“my lord?” johnny says, frowning when he sees taeyong crying. 

“what are you doing here?” he can’t help but blurt. 

the three in front of him chuckle. “yuta’s taking my shift. their meeting japanese ambassadors and your father wants to look more cultured.” he takes a step forward, wary that taeyong might shoo him away. “my lord, i—“

“please don’t call me that.” taeyong pleads, tears flowing down his face in either happiness and sadness, he doesn’t know. 

johnny’s too cheery smile drops, replaced by one sacred and private. “my omega.”

a wet laughers bubbles up in taeyong. so relieved to finally hear those words. “my alpha.” a cracked, broken look flashes over johnny. like those words weakened him. “it’s been so long.” taeyong admits. 

“so long.”

“i didn’t want to ignore you, but i had to.”

calloused hands cups his soft cheeks, their daughter between them. “i know.”

“johnny, she’s so beautiful.”

foreheads are pressed together. “was she ever not going to be.”

taeyong presses a reverent kiss on johnny’s lips. “I have to go soon.”

“i know. they’re already asking for you.” 

his heart sinks. he can’t even have two minutes. he has so much he wants to say, tell him about what happened. but he can’t. he hears jaehyun honk the horn outside and his eyes close in heartbreak. 

sooyoung presses her hand over his mouth in her attempts to move around, he kisses it softly. johnny chuckles in adoration, brushing her hair over slightly. 

“papa loves you, please don’t ever forget that.” he whispers. 

“we both do.” johnny continues. taeyong reluctantly handing the baby over to him. 

“our joy.” they say together, both pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. 

taeyong glances up at johnny. these months have been heard for them. he just wants everything to be better. 

“I lo—“

another honk, more urgent then the last. taeyong grips his arm tight for a moment before rushing out into the hall to collect his coat and hat. ten follows quickly. 

“when can we see you again?”

taeyong wipes the tears away. he feels hollow. he wants his baby. “I’ll try and get away when the preparations for master donghyucks banquet start.”

ten nods. “she’ll always be here!”

taeyong smiles watery before slipping on the cap and dashing down the garden into the car. 

jaehyun doesn’t need to glance at taeyong to know he’s crying.

his gut wrenching sobs are answer enough.

**Author's Note:**

> pls be nice


End file.
